# Asking Eric: I spoke my mind about the offensive retouching of a family photo > Source: > Published: 2026-07-04 09:32:12+00:00 **Getting your** [Trinity Audio](//trinityaudio.ai)player ready...**Dear Eric:** Yesterday a cousin sent me a photo of a group of family members taken the morning after my father’s funeral about 30 years ago. It included my mother, two sisters, an uncle, my brother-in-law and me. Most of us were still in our nightclothes, as it was taken early in the morning before other relatives left to return home. With the exception of my uncle, I didn’t recognize a single person in the photo. The bathrobe I’d worn back then was familiar and a few other details — how my sister stood and how my mother wore her hair were familiar — but what stood out the most was how beautiful we women were and how handsome my brother-in-law was. Eric, someone had used AI to enhance our appearance! I asked my cousin about the AI work and who had done it. More importantly, why was it even necessary? He denied knowing anything about it and even suggested that my elderly mother had “improved” it herself. (She passed away before AI became mainstream and had only rudimentary computer skills.) My cousin has always been a big talker, boasting about his business, kids, vacation home, whatever. But to think that we weren’t attractive or good enough for him, especially in the early morning after a heartbreaking funeral, just ticks me off and I told him so. Any thoughts? *– Picture Perfect* **Dear Perfect**: Yikes! If one is thinking generously, your cousin may have found the technology fascinating or not even realized what the enhance button on a photo editing program would do. But a cursory glance would, one would think, prompt some questions on his part. Even if he thought it was innocuous, it’s clear that his intention didn’t have the right impact. It also sounds like the previous tensions in your relationship contributed to your interpretation of this action. Now that you’ve said what you need to say, try to put the photo out of your mind and hold on to the original image, crafted with human creativity and featuring real people and real emotions. **Dear Eric**: I met M on a tour of Greece, and we communicated afterward through phone calls and emails, because M lives in Iowa and I live in NY. M made plans to visit me and although it wasn’t the best time, I agreed to her staying with me. I have a small house without a guest room but would give her my room and I would sleep on the sleeper sofa. On the day of her arrival, I made a stupid mistake and fell, hurting my back. I carried on although hurting. I had a list of best places to visit. This was her first day and I tried to make her trip as good as I could taking her to various places of interest and restaurants. We spent a day at the zoo and M threw out the small water bottle I had given her to use. I was disappointed since the bottle was reusable and fit nicely in a purse. The next day she said she was going to stay in a hotel near the airport so I could make my tax appointment the next morning without worrying about getting her to the airport. I took her to the hotel and we left on a friendly note. We shared expenses such as entrance fees and meals. After M returned to her home, I received a package of small bottles, cleaned to make up for the one she threw away. Never received a thank you note. After M left, I found she had looked through my desk and personal papers. I was shocked. I know it was strange she spent time in the room but I thought she was tired or reading. My family has told me, “I told you so.” Now I don’t trust myself to make good choices when meeting new people. What can you tell me? Was this a learning experience? *– No Longer a Trusting Friend* **Dear Friend:** Don’t let this bad apple spoil the bunch. It sounds like you went out of your way to make the trip nice for M and M’s response was fine, if a bit underwhelming. That would all be fixable. But the violation of privacy is a problem. You should take steps to ensure she hasn’t compromised your identity or your credit in some way. If you’re worried about your judgment when meeting other new people, you might just decide to put a stronger boundary around your life until you really get to know someone. For instance, you could decide that people you don’t know well can’t stay at your house. You might also make sure that a friend you already trust meets new friends you make in the future and get your trusted friend’s read on things. *Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.*